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Romantic Relationship

Dating can be both a fun and daunting experience. So what does psychology have to say about what attracts people to others and how romantic relationships are maintained? Psychological theories explore various aspects of romantic relationships, including social exchange theory, equity theory, investment theory, and Duck's phase model. How do people view romantic relationships? And how do people maintain romantic…

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Romantic Relationship

Romantic Relationship
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Dating can be both a fun and daunting experience. So what does psychology have to say about what attracts people to others and how romantic relationships are maintained? Psychological theories explore various aspects of romantic relationships, including social exchange theory, equity theory, investment theory, and Duck's phase model. How do people view romantic relationships? And how do people maintain romantic relationships?

  • We are going to explore romantic relationships from a psychological perspective. First, we will provide a romantic relationship definition.
  • Then we will look at a romantic relationship example.
  • Next, we will mention three types of romantic relationships.
  • After, we will look at some romantic relationship stages and how these stages are affected by aspects such as commitment, satisfaction, and costs-vs-benefit analysis.
  • Finally, we will briefly summarise the various romantic relationship theories, including social exchange theory, equity theory, investment model, and phase model.

Romantic Relationship, red rose flower laid down on a table, StudySmarterFig. 1 - Romantic relationships are present in many aspects of our lives.

Romantic Relationships: Definition

A romantic relationship is when two people form an intimate connection based on attachment, interdependence and a sense of their needs being met.

Psychologists are interested in all kinds of human relationships and how they form, develop and affect our daily life. Social psychologists study these relationships to learn more about human behaviour.

We can see romantic relationships in various areas of our lives; parents are engaged in a romantic relationship, and friends may explore feelings for one another if they are romantically attracted to each other.

The theories on romantic relationships include:

  1. Social Exchange Theory
  2. Equity Theory
  3. The Investment Model (Rusbult)
  4. The Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown (Duck)

Romantic Relationships: Example

Romantic relationships are thought to develop in several ways: physical attraction, proximity, the similarity of attitudes, and complementarity, among other things.

Starting to date someone you regularly see in your class or workplace is an example of a proximity factor that can allow a romantic relationship to develop.

Meeting someone at a group, club or event you enjoy going to is an example of the ways similarity of attitudes and having something in common can bring people closer together.

Some psychologists believe that our attraction is an innate, evolutionary force, whereas others view it as a social phenomenon, stating that factors such as the similarity of values influence our attraction.

Romantic relationships, a blue sky with white fluffy clouds and many white and red heart balloons attached to white ribbon floating in the air, StudySmarter.Fig. 2 - Romantic relationships can form due to many factors, including proximity and attitude similarity.

Three Types of Romantic Relationships

There are typically three types of romantic relationships;

  1. Dating.
  2. Cohabitation (living together).
  3. Long-term commitment (marriage, civil partnership).

The different types of romantic relationships often start out as casual dating and develop into cohabitation and long-term and official commitments. This is one aspect of development through the romantic relationship stages. These stages, however, are affected by other factors.

Various theories on romantic relationships explore how these factors affect the development of the relationships in question. Commitment to a relationship may be influenced by investment into the relationship, the presence of children, and cost-benefit analysis, according to multiple theories. We will explore these further below.

Romantic Relationships: Stages

One research theory on the stages of romantic relationships comes from Thibaut and Kelley's (1959) social exchange theory, which, to summarise, suggests four stages for romantic relationships;

  • Sampling - evaluating the potential costs and benefits of a relationship.
  • Bargaining - negotiating costs and benefits.
  • Commitment - when a relationship is stable, rewards increase, and costs decrease.
  • Institutionalisation - when norms are established to allow both partners to gain from long-term commitment.

We will discuss more of the principles of social exchange theory as one of the theories of romantic relationships in the next section.

Romantic Relationships: Theory

Psychologists are interested in investigating why we form romantic relationships and why they last, as they are an intrinsic part of human life for many of the population. The theories studied here take an economic approach, stating that relationships exchange costs and benefits.

Some argue that these exchanges should be unequal, whereas others think they should be equitable. Theories of relationship breakdown suggest that it occurs in stages.

Romantic Relationships Theory: Social Exchange Theory

Thibaut and Kelley (1959) describe relationships in economic terms. They claim that through a cost-benefit analysis, partners strive to maximise rewards (praise, comfort, etc.) and minimise costs (arguments, compromises, stress, etc.).

To maintain the relationship, the benefits need to outweigh the costs.

According to Thibaut and Kelley (1959), partners use comparison levels to assess their relationships' profitability. At these comparison levels, as we mentioned earlier, romantic relationships go through stages: sampling, bargaining, commitment and institutionalisation.

If people strive to get more than they give in to a relationship, however, it may cause issues with inequality.

Comparison level is where partners in a relationship compare the cost and rewards of the current relationship to their previous one. If the current one is better, they will be more motivated to maintain the current relationship.

The alternative comparison level compares the current relationship to possible future relationships. Naturally, this affects whether or not a person decides to stay in a relationship. They may leave the current one if they can find a better relationship.

Romantic Relationship, woman holding a red heart shaped neon sign to her chest, StudySmarterFig. 3 - Social exchange theory in relationships focuses on a cost-benefit analysis.

Romantic Relationships Theory: Equity Theory

Proposed by Walster et al. (1978), equity theory states that partners are concerned with fairness in relationships, concerning the input and output each partner provides and receives from one another.

When one partner reaps more rewards from a relationship, they feel guilty, whilst the other partner is dissatisfied, and this is known as inequity and distress.

According to equity theory, partners must strive for equal costs and rewards to maintain a happy, fair relationship.

Research has identified differences between men and women, however, in their attitudes to inequality in relationships (Argyle et al., 1988)

Romantic Relationships Theory: Rusbult's Investment Model

Rusbult (1980) aimed to improve the social exchange theory with Rusbult's Investment Model, as they found that many couples stay together even though the costs outweigh the benefits.

  • Three main factors ensure commitment: satisfaction level, comparison, and, most important, investment (intrinsic and extrinsic).

Rusbult et al. (2001) also identified maintenance mechanisms (accommodation, forgiveness, ridiculing alternatives, positive illusions, and willingness to sacrifice) that aid the continuance of a relationship.

Romantic Relationships Theory: Duck’s Phase Model of Relationship Breakdown

Duck (1988) stated that although breakups seem like one-time events, they are progressive breakdowns in stages. The romantic relationship stages of breakdown are:


  • The first is the intra-psychic stage, in which one person in the relationship contemplates and admits dissatisfaction.
  • In the second stage, the dyadic stage, they admit to their partner that they are unhappy, and both partners are now involved. before revealing this to others in the social stage.
  • The social stage involves making the breakup public to friends and family members. The relationship is not completely unsalvagable, however.
  • Finally, there is the grave-dressing stage, in which partners try to minimise mistakes and maximise positive attributes.

The model fails to consider individual differences, however.


Romantic Relationship - Key takeaways

  • A romantic relationship is when two people form an intimate connection based on attachment, interdependence and a sense of their needs being met.

  • Some psychologists believe that our attraction is an innate, evolutionary force, whereas others view it as a social phenomenon, factors such as the similarity of values and proximity influence our attraction.

  • There are three types of romantic relationships - dating, cohabitation (living together) and long-term commitment (marriage, civil partnership).
  • Romantic relationship stages according to the social exchange theory are stages of sampling, bargaining, commitment and institutionalisation.
  • There are many theories about why we form romantic relationships, namely: the social exchange theory (Thibaut and Kelley), equity theory (Walster et al.), Rusbult's investment model and Duck’s phase model of relationship breakdown.

Frequently Asked Questions about Romantic Relationship

According to psychologists, a romantic relationship is when two people form an intimate connection based on attachment, interdependence and a sense of their needs being met. 

It means to have an intimate connection and relationship with another person.

Casual, dating, marriage.

According to psychologists, romantic relationships develop in several ways: physical attraction, proximity, the similarity of attitudes, and complementarity, among other things.

Two people form an intimate connection.

Final Romantic Relationship Quiz

Romantic Relationship Quiz - Teste dein Wissen

Question

_____ and _____ explained relationships in economic terms.

Show answer

Answer

Thibaut and Kelley.

Show question

Question

Who developed the social exchange theory?

Show answer

Answer

Thibaut and Kelley.

Show question

Question

When was the social exchange theory developed?

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Answer

1959.

Show question

Question

What kind of theory is the social exchange theory?

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Answer

Economic.

Show question

Question

Why is the social exchange theory considered to be subjective?


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Answer

This is because every individual is different, and may view costs and rewards differently.

Show question

Question

Using your knowledge of the social exchange theory, identify a type of relationship that the theory does not explain.

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Answer

Abusive relationships as the costs outweigh the benefits in this case, and yet the partners stay together.

Show question

Question

Give an example of a cost.

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Answer

Your partner works away from home.

Show question

Question

Give an example of a benefit.

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Answer

Your partner gives you attention.

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Question

What is the comparison level?


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Answer

The 'comparison level' measures the rewards a person thinks they are entitled to in a relationship.

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Question

What is the comparison level of alternatives?

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Answer

The 'comparison level for alternatives' is when an individual judges their relationship and identifies that they could be receiving more benefits and less costs from an alternative relationship with someone else.

Show question

Question

What are some external factors that contribute to an individual's comparison level?

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Answer

Seeing a romantic movie on television, experiencing how relationships function within their family and observing their friendship group.

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Question

What are some internal factors that contribute to an individual's comparison level?

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Answer

Confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.

Show question

Question

People will stay in their current relationship if they find it more profitable than the alternatives. Is this true or false?


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Answer

True.

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Question

You are in a relationship where your partner works out of town. Whenever they come home, they bring you gifts and flowers. Is this a comparison level, or comparison level for alternatives?

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Answer

Comparison level.

Show question

Question

Identify some studies that went against the social exchange theory.

Show answer

Answer

Emerson and Cook’s (1978) study and Clark and Mills' (2011) study.

Show question

Question

Give a study that supports equity theory.

Show answer

Answer

Utne et al. (1984) measured satisfaction and equity in 118 newlyweds aged 16 to 24 using self-report scales. Each couple had already been together for at least two years before marriage, and the study reported that greater equity led to higher satisfaction.

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Question

Give a negative evaluation of equity theory.

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Answer

It fails to consider the differences between men and women. Women have been proven more sensitive to inequity and feel more guilty than men if inequity occurs, meaning they are more likely to strive for equitable relationships whilst men are not.

Show question

Question

Who developed the equity theory?

Show answer

Answer

Waltser.

Show question

Question

When did Waltser develop equity theory?

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Answer

1978.

Show question

Question

Equity theory is an extension of _____ theory?


Show answer

Answer

Social exchange theory.

Show question

Question

How is equity theory different from social exchange theory?

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Answer

While social exchange theory suggests partners strive for the most benefits and least costs, equity theory states couples should accept costs and benefits to be equitable with their partners for a successful relationship.

Show question

Question

Who suggested that much of the input in romantic relationships is emotional and therefore unquantifiable?

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Answer

Mills and Clarke (1982).

Show question

Question

What did Van Yperen and Buunk (1990) find was more important than equity in a relationship?

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Answer

Self-disclosure.

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Question

Why is equity not the same as equality?

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Answer

Equality refers to treating everyone the same, while equity refers to treating people differently to account for differences in cost/benefit/prejudice, e.g., if your partner has had a long day at work, making them dinner.

Show question

Question

Where is equity theory not applicable?

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Answer

Non-Western countries.

Show question

Question

Who suggested that women focus more on relationships and are more sensitive to injustices?

Show answer

Answer

DeMaris et al. (1998).

Show question

Question

How many couples did Utne et al. (1981) study?

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Answer

118.

Show question

Question

What did Stafford and Canary study?

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Answer

Relationship equity, maintenance, and satisfaction.

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Question

What were the findings of Stafford and Canary’s study?

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Answer

They found that partners who viewed their relationships as equitable were most satisfied, followed by those who over-benefitted. The least satisfied were those who felt they were under-benefitted.

Show question

Question

What did Brosnan and De Waal study?

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Answer

Capuchin monkies.

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Question

What theory did Rusbult expand using his investment model?

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Answer

Social exchange theory.

Show question

Question

When did Rusbult come up with his investment model?

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Answer

Between 1980 and 1983.

Show question

Question

What are the three factors of commitment according to Rusbult's investment model?

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Answer

Satisfaction, comparison with alternatives, investment size.

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Question

What type of relationship can the investment model explain which other models cannot?

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Answer

Abusive.

Show question

Question

Give an example of investment.

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Answer

Children are an investment in a relationship because not only do parents commit to investing time and money with each other, but they also commit to having a long-lasting relationship with them, whether they stay together as a couple or not.

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Question

Give an example of a tangible investment.

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Answer

Money.

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Question

Give an example of an intangible investment.

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Answer

Happy memories.

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Question

What is an intrinsic investment?

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Answer

An investment that is part of being in a relationship, e.g., investing time.

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Question

What is an extrinsic investment?

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Answer

An investment that comes about as a result of the relationship, e.g., children.

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Question

Which of these are examples of an extrinsic investment?

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Answer

Children.

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Question

Name three studies that support Rusbult's Investment Model.

Show answer

Answer

Impett, Beals, and Peplau (2002), Rhahgan and Axsom (2006), and Bui, Peplau, and Hill (1996).

Show question

Question

Provide a criticism of the investment model.

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Answer

Much research into the theory has been correlational, meaning that you cannot establish a scientific, cause-and-effect relationship between investment and commitment.

Show question

Question

Provide an argument in support of the investment model 

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Answer

It is cross-cultural, i.e., it can be applied to western and non-western cultures, individualistic and collectivist cultures, as well as subgroups such as the LGBTQIA + community.

Show question

Question

True or False: Rusbult (1980) aimed to improve the social exchange theory with Rusbult's Investment Model, as they found that many couples stay together even though the costs outweigh the benefits. 

Show answer

Answer

True.

Show question

Question

Who proposed the social exchange theory?


Show answer

Answer

Thibaut and Kelley.

Show question

Question

What is grave dressing?


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Answer

It's when ex-partners try to make themselves look good and their ex-partner look bad when they get out of their relationship to protect themselves.

Show question

Question

What are the three stages of Duck's model of relationship breakdown? 


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Answer

Intrapsychic stage, the dyadic stage, and grave dressing.

Show question

Question

When did Duck add a new stage to the phase model of a relationship breakdown?


Show answer

Answer

2006.

Show question

Question

Define the grave dressing stage of Duck's phase model of relationship breakdown.


Show answer

Answer

The grave-dressing stage is where partners try to minimise mistakes and maximise positive attributes.


Show question

Question

What did Rusbult (1980) suggest were the three factors that affect commitment? 


Show answer

Answer

Satisfaction level, comparison, and investment.

Show question

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