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When a male penguin falls in love, it searches the beach to find the perfect pebble to present to the female it hopes to attract. It seems that choosing a partner is a natural part of life for animals as well as humans. But what is it that influences whom we choose to be with and why in sexual relationships?
Penguin in the snow, Pixabay
Sexual selection theory is an evolutionary explanation for why we choose our partners. Characteristics that are beneficial to survival and aid reproductive success are passed on through genes. So if someone has these characteristics they would be more successful in reproduction. Through evolution, features that are attractive to the opposite sex are developed and passed on. Yet, there are also issues with this theory.
When certain features, although deemed attractive by the opposite sex for reproductive purposes, exist, they come at a cost to the species.
A brightly coloured male bird is preferred by the female bird, and this increases their chances of mating, however, this bird is also more likely to be spotted by its predators.
So there is a cost-reward principle here.
There are two types of sexual selection, inter-sexual selection and intra-sexual selection.
Anisogamy is part of the evolutionary process of sexual selection. It refers to the fusion of reproductive cells (sperm and egg) that differ in size and form.
In sexual selection, anisogamy suggests that we pick our partners based on an innate need for survival and reproduction. It suggests that women are much more invested in their sexual partners because they only produce a finite number of eggs, whereas men are much less selective because they can reproduce more often and over a longer period of time.
Inter-sexual selection and intra-sexual selection refer to how biological differences between men and women affect sexual selection.
Inter-sexual selection - when one gender selects their partner of another gender based on their characteristics. This is a preferred female strategy (so the females pick who to mate with), as females have to invest a lot more in reproduction (carrying the baby to full-term). Thus, they are pickier when it comes to choosing their partner, such as a male who is fit and healthy who will be able to provide for her.
Intra-sexual selection - this is a male strategy. As females are picky about who they will choose as their partner, males are in competition with each other to be the one chosen. This has led to the physical differences between males and females, 'dimorphism', as throughout the generations, the larger male would be able to defeat his rivals and be the successful one.
Many studies investigate sexual selection:
Buss (1989) landmark study of 10,000 adult partner preferences. Buss found that while women emphasize resources and skills when looking for a partner, men emphasize younger age and attractiveness.
Clark and Hatfield (1989) study of sexual behaviour on university campuses. The study found that men were much more willing to have sex with a stranger than women were.
However
The question remains: can these evolutionary explanations for sexual selection explain modern relationships?
Numerous factors affect how we choose our partners and many psychologists have developed theories to explain this. The Journal of Social Psychology found that men fall in love much faster than women and often say 'I love you' first, but why are people attracted to each other in the first place?
Self-disclosure states that we become attracted to partners by sharing personal information with them. This is especially the case if both parties share personal information equally. Altman and Taylor (1973) developed the Social Penetration Theory, which states that there is a gradual sharing of information between partners over a period of time, which creates the basis for a deep partnership.
Self-disclosure has been proven to increase attraction in multiple studies
Self-disclosure is supported by Cooper and Sportolari's 1997 'Boom and Bust' theory and research. This theory states that relationships which begin with a lot of self-disclosure (sharing) are too intense and too fast and end up breaking down. This is because disclosure has not been built on a proper foundation of trust and mutual understanding.
Nomothetic approach (an approach is nomothetic when it is generalized to all): self-disclosure assumes that self-disclosure appeals to everyone
Cultural bias: self-disclosure has been proven to improve attraction but only in western societies. Therefore, to suggest that self-disclosure is a global motivator of attraction is culturally biased.
Correlational research: most research into self-disclosure is correlational. This means that it is not possible to establish a direct cause and effect relationship between attraction and self-disclosure.
According to Charles Darwin, attraction is a key part of sexual and romantic relationships. He even said that it is so important that animals will even strive to be attractive in 'times of great suffering'. This theory of attraction is linked to evolutionary theory. It suggests that features generally considered attractive, such as facial symmetry, fitness, etc., are often signs of fertility and health.
Walster et al. (1966) suggested that people choose romantic partners if they have a similar level of physical attractiveness to themselves. Dion et al. (1972) found that physically attractive people were also rated highly on positive personality traits such as kindness.
Supported by research from Dion and Walster et al.
Cross-cultural: physical attractiveness has been proven to affect attraction in many cultures.
Contradicted by other theories such as self-disclosure theory in online relationships. This theory states that the absence of physical attraction in online relationships actually helps increase attraction and self-disclosure.
Subjective: everyone finds different characteristics attractive, which suggests that we cannot generalize physical characteristics as a factor of attraction.
Beta-bias and a nomothetic approach: this approach assumes that physical attraction is a factor that affects everyone's attraction, but men's attraction is more affected by physical attractiveness than women, as studies such as Buss (1989) have shown.
Kerckhoff and Davis (1962) suggested several factors or 'filters' people use when choosing a partner. The first filter included sociodemographic characteristics such as physical proximity, education, and class. A second filter, similarity of attitudes, suggests that people considered those who shared their core values more attractive. A third filter, complementarity, states that each partner should display characteristics or skills the other lacks.
Filter theory, Canva
Supported by research such as Winch (1957) who found that similarity of interests, attitudes, and personality traits was important at the start of a relationship, whilst complementarity was important in the long term.
Face validity: the theory makes sense in real life, for instance that people filter potential partners by using factors such as geographic location (proximity allows you to see that person more often).
Contradicted by research such as Anderson et al. (2003), Davis and Rusbult (2001). Anderson et al. (2003) suggesting that instead of couples being similar from the start of a relationship, they become more similar as time goes on. Davis and Rusbult (2001) found that a couple's attitudes become aligned over time, suggesting that similarity of attitudes is an effect rather than a cause of a relationship.
The theory today: filter theory states that relationships must pass through filters but nowadays there are different ways for people to connect, such as online relationships, these show that success does not necessarily depend on these filters.
Cultural bias: many filters, including 'similarity of attitudes', may be more important in Western societies than other societies.
Altman and Taylor (1973).
Anisogamy is part of the evolutionary theory of sexual selection. It refers to the fusion of different cells (sperm and eggs) during reproduction.
Inter-sexual selection is when someone selects a member of the opposite sex. Intra-sexual selection is when someone tries to be chosen by the opposite sex.
Some psychologists think our preference for physical attractiveness is evolutionary because it can be a sign of positive personality traits and health.
Sociodemographic, the similarity of attitudes, and complementarity.
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