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Over a fifth of 25 to 34-year-olds meet their significant others online. This new phenomenon will only grow, with Stanford University predicting that more than half of people will meet their partners online by 2035 (Sky News, 2021). It’s more important than ever for psychologists to study virtual relationships in social media, how and why we form relationships online, and their pros and cons.
Depiction of a virtual relationship, Canva
To begin, let’s go over a few of the most common social media platforms:
Instagram: 1 billion users.
Facebook: 2.5 billion users.
Twitter: 300 million users.
A virtual relationship in social media is formed via a platform like those listed above. It could be a friendship, romantic relationship, or parasocial relationship. But how and why do we create these relationships? What are the most important factors affecting our virtual relationships?
Self-disclosure is when we share information with another person. Psychologists such as Altman and Taylor (1973) state that this is the key to forming relationships. Others like Cooper and Sportolari (1997) state that oversharing can lead to the ‘boom and bust’ phenomenon.
The boom and bust phenomenon is when people overshare without the proper grounding of trust, which makes self-disclosure an essential part of a relationship, leading to the breakdown of the relationship.
Virtual relationships are much more vulnerable to this phenomenon as self-disclosure tends to occur much faster because of the anonymity of online relationships. Psychologists such as Walher (1996, 2011) call this the ‘hyperpersonal model’ of virtual relationships. Researchers Sproull and Kiesler (1986) suggest that online relationships may be less honest and open than face-to-face ones.
Gates refer to barriers that prevent us from being attracted to someone if we meet them in person, such as how they speak, smell or look. Virtual relationships have an absence of such gates, and thus some psychologists suggest that we can form more meaningful relationships online.
The absence of gates can also be positive for shy or socially anxious people (Baker & Oswald, 2010; Zhao et al., 2008). They can meet people without the anxiety of real-life interaction. Even if people meet later in the relationship, if an attraction has already been formed, gates rarely dampen this attraction due to the intimacy developed from self-disclosure.
This theory refers to online relationships lacking the physical cues we get in face-to-face interactions, such as facial expressions and body language. According to Sproull and Kessler (1986), virtual interactions are much less effective than face-to-face ones. According to them, this leads to deindividuation, wherein people feel less responsible for their behaviour and become more guarded, preventing self-disclosure.
Zhao et al. ❲2008❳ found that self-presentation in non-anonymous websites like Facebook was implicit rather than explicit. People show their identities implicitly through posts and pictures rather than explicitly stating their personality traits. This research indicates that social media sites are sources of self-presentation, helping relationship formation.
Some psychologists suggest that reduced cues theory is flawed in its assumption that there are no cues in virtual relationships. They suggest different cues are present, such as time taken to reply and emojis. Research from Whitty and Johnson (2009) and Tidwell and Walther (1995) supports the idea of different cues.
McKenna and Bargh (2000) found that romantic relationships that initially formed online were 70% more likely to last over two years longer than ‘offline’ relationships. The correlation between internet use and successful relationships is also supported by Rosenfeld and Thomas (2012).
However, it is flawed to assume relationships are either online or offline. Today, many real-life relationships also begin and develop online; this is a weakness of investigating so-called ‘virtual relationships’. The study of online relationships is culturally and economically biased. It does not consider that people in less developed countries/ with low income may not form online relationships. There is also evidence to suggest that the depth of self-disclosure differs in men and women, suggesting that virtual relationships and self-disclosure are not the same regardless of gender.
Parasocial relationships are one-sided, unreciprocated relationships, such as a fan’s relationship with a celebrity.
McCutcheon et al. (2002) developed this scale alongside research by Maltby et al. (2006) to identify the three levels of parasocial relationships.
Entertainment-social: the least intense level, where celebrities are just sources of entertainment. For example, you watch a film because you like Brad Pitt.
Intense-personal: a feeling of greater personal involvement with the celebrity. For example, you feel like you have an intense emotional connection with Brad Pitt.
Borderline pathological: the most intense level, including fantasising and extreme behaviour. For example, you fly from the UK to Australia to see Brad Pitt at a film premiere.
McCutcheon (2002) suggested that people who form parasocial relationships do so because they lack something in their own lives. For instance, they may not have a romantic relationship but want a partner, leading them to fantasise about having one with a celebrity.
Absorption refers to an intense, all-encompassing focus on a celebrity, e.g., constantly checking the news to see mentions of them. Addiction is when a person is compelled to have personal involvement with the celebrity, this can lead to extreme behaviours such as stalking and delusions, e.g., camping outside a celebrity’s home in the hope of meeting them.
In the attachment topic, we explore Ainsworth (1970) ’s attachment types. We can use these types to explain parasocial relationships, as attachment theorists suggest that people who form parasocial relationships likely had difficulties forming attachments in early life. For instance, someone who had an insecure-resistant attachment type as a child is the most likely to develop a parasocial relationship because these do not risk rejection. Hence, they become attached without fear of rejection.
Maltby (2005) supports McCutcheon’s (2002) theory of parasocial relationships. Their study found that girls with body image issues were more likely to form parasocial relationships.
McCutcheon’s (2002) theory and the addiction-absorption model are further supported by research from McCutcheon et al. (2006).
However, the addiction-absorption model is flawed as research often uses self-report techniques.
Self-disclosure, the absence of gating, and reduced cues theory can explain the increase in virtual relationships.
Parasocial relationships are one-sided, unreciprocated relationships, such as a fan’s relationship with a celebrity.
We can explain parasocial relationships using the absorption-addiction model or attachment theory.
Virtual relationships are very common today and refer to relationships formed and maintained online.
Psychologists theorise that the absence of gating, as well as greater self-disclosure, allows virtual relationships to form.
This refers to the fact that online relationships lack the physical cues we get in face-to-face interactions such as facial expressions and body language.
Parasocial relationships are one-sided, unreciprocated relationships such as a fan’s relationship with a celebrity.
It is a scale developed by McCutcheon to explain the different intensities of parasocial relationships.
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